Today's blast!!

Alhamdulillah, puasanya selesai dengan penuh cobaan fisik, hati dan iman..
Setelah kaget parah gr2 ngeliat Radit ada 2 ,, hehhe.. Yg mengakibatkan sekantor langsung geger dan semua teriak "wulan liat setaaaannn!!!" Dan dibahas lah seharian.. Padahal kan bisa aja gw salah liat, *unng, tp tadi sih gayanya Radit banget aja, makanya gw yakin banget* amit amit jabang bayi, gak lagi2 deeehhh..

Tadi buka puasa agak sedikit gak enak hatinya, jadi agak sedih jg, soalnya lg ada yg sedih gitu.. Hehee, tp dengan sukses si Awan bisa bikin semua org ketawa ampe ampun2an.. Ahahhaa, sakit parah perut gw, gak beres tuh otak si Awan!! Ahahhaa.. Kalo gw keluar dari Prambors pasti there's a big hole in my world.. Hehehe.. Makanya, terlalu banyak hal menyenangkan disana,, gw ngerasa *salah KAMI ngerasa jadi orang yang hebat, bukan luar biasa malah.. Kadang gw kesel banget ama kerjaan kantor yg bertubi2, tapi man, gak semua org bs kaya lo.. Mmm, God bless us! *kok gw jadi kangen kantor yah malah.. Ahhahaa,, namanya juga manusia, gak pernah puas.. Terlalu banyak hal2 yg udh gw lewatin di kantor itu..

Blast from the past..

Gak tau, ini pesan atau cuma gw tb2 flashback.. Kira2 1 taun lalu..

Someone said, that I'm the hardest door to open and I'm the highest star to reach.. But, I'm the only one who could ruin his life, his ego and everything.. But lately, his ego ruins us :'(
I'm missing him rite now, I miss my last year boy, I miss the way he looked me, I miss the way he blushed me, I miss his touch, I miss everything.. He still there, but he turn into a stranger, I didn't know who is he.. Please, could u bring back my dearest boy, I need him rite now,, I won't ask anything..
Kalo itu terlalu berlebihan, maaf.. Gw gak bermaksud menuntut apapun, gw jg sudah akan berhenti minta sesuatu yg gak bisa gw miliki.. What I've been thru lately, maksa gw untuk belajar lebih bijaksana dan ikhlas menghadapi apapun.. Modal seseorang buat hidup yah cuma sabar dan ikhlas, that's the rule.. Gak semuanya bisa kita miliki.. Kita selalu dihadapkan sama 2 pilihan, dan gak mungkin kita dikasi kesempatan untuk milih semuanya, harus salah satu * if u say, poligami, sorry gw better gak usah kawin drpd sharing my husband.. Kebanyakan org gak bisa milih salah satu..

Gw dulu pernah dihadapkan sama 2 pilihan juga, ternyata gw milih buat tinggalin 2 2nya, dan sebagai bonus gw dapet satu.. Hehhee,, gw terlalu dramatis mungkin kalo jadi orang, emosional, itu yg mau gw kontrol, better I keep it for my self and no one knows.. Kalo seandainya sekarang ternyata gw mengambil apa yang seharusnya bisa dimiliki seseorang, I'll take it back to you, don't worry.. I believe someday someone gonna makes me happy, he'll take care of me, he'll loves me and he'll treat me better.. *Amin..

Bukan berarti apa yg gw punya sekarang tidak gw hargai, tp do you how does it feel, when u trying to always be there but no one knows that u are exist?? That's feels hurt u know,, and when u try to fixing a big hole, but u can't reach the ground, that also hurt.. While u're trying to fix everything, who's gonna fix u?

Setelah gw pnh merasa kalo having a relationship is a fucking bullshit.. Someone came to me, and he bring all the joyfull to my world, pertama gw takut.. Dan setelah tau kalo he loves me that much, gw jd ngerasa ini gak adil buat dia, kenapa gw gak mau merasakan sesuatu lagi disaat ada org yg bnr2 sayang sama gw dan he prove me kalo yg namanya the real love is still exist.. I learned how to in love once again, and he always there whenever I felt down.. Pelan2 gw bs bangun dari segala macem keragu2an gw sama relationship, he treated me well and I didn't know how could he made me love him till now.. He did everything for me, he always be there when I need him.. And maybe this is my turn for always be there when he needs me no matter what.. Gosh! I miss him so much..

I better run.. G'nite..

And You, if u ask me to leave then I'm gonna leave.. But if u ask me to stay, I never leave u..

Bisses,
Wuls

My Butterfly Keeper

Morning y'all..

Yes, I'm awake, after having my sahur then I'm waiting for adzan subuh.. (Adzan bhs inggrisnya apa yah? Hehee)

Drpd ketiduran lagi, yaudh posting blog aja yoooookkkk.. Tp pasti gw curhat lagi deh, dan soal itu lagi.. Haaahh! Stuck amat yah gw?? Hiihiii..

Someone said "enak yah jd penyiar, curhatnya lewat lagu" ahahhaa.. Iya juga sih, hehhee.. Kmrn dong gw siaran curhat paraaahhh.. Gr2 denger lagunya Ne yo - Mad, setelah bernyanyi kenceng2 banget (agak pake perasaan) gw bilang, intinya.. "yg berantem udhan yah, gak enak tau kalo lg marah gt dibawa tidur, sekarang ambil hp, jgn egois buat blg maaf duluan, drpd ntr nyesel.. Kalo sayang, go for it!! Lagian a relationship never be perfect kok, it's just going to be happy, kalo mau sama2 berusaha, jd jangan berantem lagi..." Terdengar saya sekali bukaaaannnn??? Malu parah gw, semoga gak ada yg denger gw siaran deh..* bego deh wulan, nulis ini kan pasti pada tau jg akhirnya..ahhahaha* gpp ah.. Bodo!

*masih merasa bodoh, dan mikir apa apus aja yah? Bodo aahh..

Oke, iya, saya udh gak mau perang lagi, gak enak dibawa tidur.. Pikirannya was was, lagian apapun yg akan terjadi itu bukan hak saya kok.. Hee, *mengibarkan bendera putih, telunjuk dan jari tengah membentuk huruf V sambil tersenyum lebar :D

The war is over, tp skrg mulai jadi taman bunga lagi.. Yang mengakibatkan banyak banget kupu2 yg dateng..
Mengutip kata sendiri "kalo jatuh cinta itu, perutnya kaya digelitikin kupu2" apalagi saya penggemar "butterfly kiss" huuhhuu..
Jadilah sekarang kupu2nya terbang diperut, tp mungkin belom jatuh cinta lagi, cuma perasaan seneng aja kali yah.. Kl buat jatuh cinta lg belom berani, kan kalo jatuh sakit, saya belom siap ama sakitnya lagi.. Lgan skrg level "trust"nya belom full lagi, dan itu susah loh kawan, mengisi level "trust"nya ampe full.. *anyway, udh adzan.. Sholat dulu yaahh..

Sudah sholat..

Kalo sekarang, gw gak mau menuntut siapapun dan apapun, kmrn mungkin gw terlalu cepat ambil keputusan dan I judged a thing too fast.. Skrg gw gak mau buru2 dulu, I'm following ur destiny, God! Terserah mau bawa wulan kemana, my life's belong to You, if it's happy then I say "Alhamdulillah" and if it's aint happy then I say "Astaghfirullah" ...

Walaupun rasanya bakal sakit lagi, I believe Allah sent all those pain, to made me learn something.. I could be strong and I have to, gak boleh cepet nyerah kaya kemaren.. Cuma sekarang, gmn caranya ada yg bisa jaga kupu2 itu ampe waktu yg sedikit lama sampe rasa gak enak kemaren ilang, atau nanti kalo kupu2 itu harus pergi bukan dengan cara yg menyakitkan.. I just want u to be my butterfly keeper..
Ruangan itu memang udh gw paksa buat kosong, tp u know how to knock it and u still got the key.. But please if you don't want to, don't throw back the key, but give it back to my hand and say "keep this"..

Bisses,
Wuls

The End of Vacation

Maleeeessss banget mau pulang.. Tp apalah daya, skrg kaki gw udah menginjak boarding lounge..

Yeah, gw dapet sinya EDGE di , jadinyaaa.. Nulis blog aja, secara gw masi 1 jam lagi, taaapiiii... Tadikan disuruh mba2nya nunggu di a3, pas nyampe gw baca tulisannya Medan ama Denpasar doang,, jeng jeng jeng jeng!! Masa liburan gw lanjut ke Bali?? Tapi ternyata pria2 berseragam menyelamatkanku.. Mereka nunggu disini jg, berarti insya Allah gak salah yaahh.. Dan bodohnya lagi si Wulan ini, tau masi ragu2 malah kuping dijejelin earphone dan gak dgr pengumuman apapunn!! Stupid, *anyway, anak akpolnya bediri dan agak ganteng, tp celananya kedodoran.. Noooo!!!
Oke then, back to topic, disini gw ama org2 berjenggot dan pake baju muslim?? Am I in the right place?? Tau ahh.. Ini earphonenya gw copot sebelah, malah dgr lagu padang.. Hiiiyaaa, salah apa yah?? Agak deg2an jg sii..

Anyway, liburan gw udh selesai, diakhiri dengan tiup lilin abangnya acid.. Hehe, ulang taun doi, kagok lah gw, masa ikut2 acara keluarga orang.. Hee.. Tp gw seneng kok liburan singkat gw ini..
Gw bisa dandan cantik banget *walaupun sakit ,, agak boros, tp senengnya naujubilah, sepatu gw keren abis,, biasa aja sih sbnrnya tp kereenn!! Houwooohh!!! Heheh, kalo katanya si Acid "androginy" hehee.. Tau deh, kayanya kalo mama liat belanjaan gw bakal teriak2 deh, bukan banyak.. Tapiiii, agak mengundang syahwat.. Ahahha, tp lucuu.. Dan mahal! Crapp!! Hhehee... I just love holiday, I wish I could had much more time.. Tp kerjaan, laptop dan printer sudah melambai2kan tangan and wishpering they are miss me a lot.. Then, it has to be over.. Fyuuhh!!

Oh iya, semalem abis ntn harpot yg lama abiss, dan keren.. Gw ntn film "He's just not into you" kaya ditampar rasanya ama film.. Hahahaha,, u girls are slut! Cewe selalu gitu yah, hee, I just love my species..hehhee.. Cewe suka banget menyakiti diri sendiri *eheeem* terlalu ge er jd orang, suka menyemangati yg gak mungkin, tujuannya sih biar gak sedih.. Tp ternyata menerbangkan diri sendiri dan ngejatohinnnya lagi itu adalah pekerjaan gak efektif dan sakitnya lebih luar biasa.. Huuuhhuuu.. Apa yang gw pelajari selama disini, tidak ada!! Man, I'm on vacation, why I shoud learning something?? Hehhee..

Dan kursi gw adalah 3f,, keren gak!! Berasa eksekutif gw, kali mbanya ngira gw masi sd kali yah, jadi didudukin deket pramugari.. Weeekkk!! Kok depan yah? Sebelah gw siapa lagi yaaahhh?? Males nih kalo anak2 akpoll.. Waduuuhh!! Tau ah, yg penting kuping gw udh dijejelin earphone.. Tinggal tidur,, masi 45 menit lagi pesawat gw.. Dan gw udah gak tau lg mau nulis apa, ahaha..

Oh iya, maafkeun yah teman2 saya tidak bawa oleh2.. Ngejar waktu saya soalnya.. Takut telat nyampe bandaranya.. Cuma irfan doang yang dapet, maaf.. Hehhe.. Itu aja hampir gw beliin kaos 300ribuan, hhehe.. Untung gak gw beliin jeans 1,5 juta.. Ahhahaha!! Cukup gak yah, kepikiran beliin celana tapi takut gak cukup.. Mana Bandung ramenya gila2an pusing sendiri gw.. Males jadinya nyari2.. Huuhh!! I miss him a lot nih jadiny, kangen berantem.. Yman kmrn cm memastikan dia dibeliin sesuatu, ahhaha dasar matre!! I'll do anything to make u happy dear, *jadi sedih dan mata gw sdh mulai berkaca2.. Norak deehh.. Udah gede yah dia, kaget gt pas inget dia kelas 3 smp, hee.. He won't need me anymore, he just can take care of him self, no more my baby boy, udah malu digandeng, gak mau dicium, tp tetep aja dirumah manja dan cengeng.. Someone has to be grow up, me either him.. I'm coming soon adek, jemput uni yah.. Hehhe..

Baru kesadar sekarang, things that I left behind is the most important things in my life.. Everyone need to be possesive, but u have to realize when it has to be over.. Huuhh.. Tau deh, gw mau jadi apa besok.. Kaya apa kejadian besok, what I have to do, how can I face everything, too many questions comes out from my brain..
Focus, that's the point.. But I really2 have to learn how to get that..

Sama satu lagi, yg gw pelajarin *wait, pesawat gw br aja di delay 45menit.. Weeekkk!!!
Oke, yg gw pelajari adalah.. "If a man doesn't ask u out, so he won't ask u out.. If a man doesn't say he loves u, than he won't!! Girls, stop making some drama.. That's pathetic.. " Damn, shame on me.. Hee..

Udh ah, cape nulis, mau nelpon mama pesawatnya delay.. Bye all, see ya soon..

Bisses,
Wuls

Ne yo - Mad

She's starin' at me
I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it's I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

And it gets me upset
Girl when you're constantly accusing
Askin' questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain't the way that love is supposed to go

Whoa, what happened to workin' it out?
We've fall into this place
Where you ain't backin' down and I ain't backin' down
So what the hell do we do now?
It's all for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

Oh, baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
Perfect, perfect, oh oh
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything's all right between us
Before we go to sleep
Baby, we're gonna be happy, oh

Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

:)

bisses, 

wuls

Rihanna - Take a Bow

Oh, How about a round of applause, Yeah
A standing ovation
Oooooo, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You’re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
You better hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on (come on)
Talkin’ bout'
Girl, I love you, you’re the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on (on)

And don't tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, And the award for
The best lie goes to you (goes to you)
For making me believe (that you)
That you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech, Oh

How about a round of applause
A standing ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow
But it’s over now

Hari ini kita nyontreng!!

gw udah dooong.. pagi2 dibangunin papa jam 8, nyontreng, trus tidur lagi dan kebangun dengan banyak sekali notification di BB, aahh,, tp yg gw bales cuma 1.. "jadi nonton gak wulan besok?" jadi laahh.. menurut loooo?? hehehe.. 

trs tetep aja perasaannya gak enak sekarang.. huh! kapan sii enaknya? make it faster please, tau sih gw mereka bisa baca ini.. but do i have to care?? this is mine! not theirs!! haa!!

umm, lukanya di buka lagi dan sakitnya keluar lagi.. hmm, gw udah janji kan buat move on? gw bisa kok.. tp sakit ati aja ngeliat orang sayang2an di belakang gw, whaaattt?? trus lo sayang2an ama orang mau sayang2an jg ama gw?? in ur wet dream honey.. and u girl! terserah deh sana mau lo apain dia.. gw udah bener2 gak peduli sekarang, gak tau siapa yang salah, gak mau juga nyalah2in siapa.. from now on i'll shut mu mouth, asal jangan dikorek2 aja sakit ini.. mengutip kata seseorang, yang intinya gini .. "maafnya pasti bakal gw terima, tapi sakitnya gak akan gw lupain" .. kalo ditanya masi sayang atau gak, seujung kukupun gak berubah rasa sayang gw ama dia.. tp rasa sakit gw sekarang jauh lebih gede daripada rasa sayangnya..

gak enak tau posisi kaya gini, jgn ampe aja mereka ngerasain apa yang gw rasain sekarang.. atau gw yang gak ngerti apa2, tapi yang pasti kalo gak ada penjelasan apa2, gimana gw bisa tau.. pengen tau atau gak? mending gak usah, gak mau buka lukanya lagi.. udah yah, leave me with my own world now.. gw yakin kok gw bisa move on, kalo kata dia " ini cuma kebiasaan" dan kayanya, perasaan gw ini jg cuma kebiasaan juga.. ntr jg bakal baik2 aja.. gw punya teman2 yang hebat yang lebih sayang sama gw dan selalu support gw kapanpun.. walopun gw ngerasa orang lain jauh lebih special buat dia, atleast tmn2 gw bisa bikin gw ngerasa lebih special..

no need to worry, he wont back to sorry..

bisses, 

wuls

i do believe in karma part 2

gw rasa gw bener2 dapet karma nya deh sekarang.. * mas, sorry for what i've done for last year.. aku tau gmn rasanya.. heee

hmmff, tp gak adil buat gw.. kenapa gw baru sekali ngelakuin kesalahan dan langsung di bales?? intinya harus gw ikhlasin.. sumpah gw bnr2 bs flashback sama apa yg gw lakuin ke dia setaun yg lalu.. kalo km udah seneng sekarang, bagus deh..

gak enak yah,ngeliat orang seneng, tp lo ngerasa sakit hati banget.. udah ah, gw udah bener2 cape.. kaya yg udah gw bilang kmrn.. im leaving from all this pain..

pengen ilang dulu sesaat, buat ngilangin apa yg ada didepan gw skrg, stalker stuff, heart stuff, semuanya.. pengen gw buang jauh2 banget..

dan gw masi berharap gunung es itu melebur tanpa menyisakan perasaan sedikitpun..

bisses,

wuls

Semarang 32 derajat celcius

makanya gw butuh es krim buat dinginin badan dan hati.. hee, kepala gw panas juga.. gr2 semalem kali yah..

gak tau siapa yg beliin es krim, tau2 udah ada aja.. "nih buat wulan", senangnya.. kali mereka kasian yah ngeliat gw semalem.. hihiii, menyedihkan.. gw aja sedih sekaligus malu ngebayangin gw semalem.. ngapain gw harus gitu, toh sekarang sama aja kan rasanya,, efeknya cuma bertahan beberapa jam..

i wont being a stalker anymore!! itu janji gw hari ini.. tp gak terlaksana sedikitpun tuuhh, hihii... jijik gw ama diri gw sendiri, terlalu kalah ama emosi.. harusnya makin gede, makin mature kan?? gini bukan mature namanya wulan.. gw ngerasa punya 2 kepribadian deh, apalagi kalo marah.. trus kalo udah ngedip dikit aja, langsung sadar.. gw perlu ke psikolog nih..

ampe sekarang aja perasaannya gak tenang, siapa yang bisa tenang sih kalo abis ngadepin yang kaya begituan? hati gw gak bisa dikasi tau nih, udh tau jangan lagi.. masi aja ngeyel, huh! sedih, nangis, ngapain coba?? bukannya gw gak menghargai proses, tapi prosesnya terlalu sakit buat gw, gw gak tahan.. skip aja deh ini! toloong banget, kalo bisa di skip gw minta skip fase ini.. gak ada unutngnya, yg ada ntr gw malah ngetawain saat2 ini.. damn! gak bisa..

gw adalah orang yang emosional, itu tadi, bagus juga sih biar gak jantungan gr2 keseringan nahan emosi.. gw harus apa lagi coba biar rasa ini ilang, sometimes, i like this pain.. but not this time... tapi waktu gw udh bs manage emosi gw, perasaan yg lain bisa dateng lagi.. lebih cepet malah dari kecepatan cahaya.. gw perlu pengalih perhatian deh kayanya.. gak bisa gini terus, bisa gila gw..

makanya, rencananya adalah.. selesain ujian gw dengan perfecto, dont care what's going to happend on earth.. just do what i have to do!! trus gw cuusss pergi dari sini.. relaxing my brain for a while, gak mikirin apapun dan siapapun, doing some fun.. etc etc.. terlalu cape gw mikirin orang lain,, sementara gw, terlintas di pikiran orang lain pun gak.. gw masi percaya kok, omongan "u never appreciate what u have, till its gone" *agak gw rombak sedikit.. gw gak butuh muluk2, cm pengen dihargain aja kok, hargain perasaan gw, apa yg gw kasi, keputusan gw dan eksistensi..

gak tau deh, buat gw eksistensi itu penting.. gak tau, ini mungkin yah egoisnya wulan.. kalo buat ngemc misalnya, dibayarnya dikit tp tempatnya di mall gitu.. yah gw ambil, biar org tau wulan masi eksis.. tapi, kalo dalam relationship.. gw terlalu sering kecewa, gak tau gw yg lebay apa emang gw itu gampang di bego2in yah?.. hee.. gw cuma pengen di sayang kok.. itu aja!

tadinya, gw bukan orang yg terlalu mentingin status, tp gr2 beberapa taun yg lalu, ini gw anggep jadi penting banget.. dia bisa bikin gw peduli sama semuanya, kenapa yah cowo pasti gitu, kalo gw udh planning buat bnr2 move on, ditarik lagi.. dan itu berulang2.. sampai akhirnya gunung es itu bener2 melebur dan gak nyisain perasaan apa2 sedikitpun..

sekarang, hal yang kaya gitu terulang lagi, bodoh yah gw, selalu dibego2in.. gak tau deh gimana? dari arti nama kita aja Matahari dan Bulan.. gak bakal ketemu, Matahari gak pernah bakal ketemu sama Bulan.. kita cuma cocok buat partner, kalo Bulan sama Matahari bareng, kiamat.. ehehhe, ada juga Bulan ngegantiin tugas Matahari kalo dia cape.. gitu sebaliknya, jadi yah gak bisa bakal bareng.. tadinya gw sempet seneng begitu tau arti nama kita gitu, tp makin kesini, gw sadar.. itu salah, pemikiran gw salah.. sekarang, tinggal gw belajar gimana gak make perasaan lagi.. biar gw simpen aja buat orang yg tepat.. dan pasti sayang sama gw.. jg gak bikin gw sedih..

from now on, Im gone.. i'll keep it for mr. right *yg katanya gak akan pernah ada mr. yang jadi right..

bisses,

wuls